Stories & Essays: Remember Me

(to see the Pulitzer entry click here)

Carolynne St. Pierre knew how she wanted to die: surrounded by her family. But before she did, she wanted to create a record of her life and the love she had for her three kids: Melissa, 15, Brian, 13, and EJ, 5.

I began documenting the family

in the spring of 2006.

Carolynne, a maternity nurse who was known for her sharp wit, had been diagnosed with a rare form of liver cancer in 2004, two weeks before she and her

husband Rich were married.

She died at home on

Feb. 10, 2007, at the age of 44.

Rich lost his own mother as a child and struggled with the prospect of becoming a single parent. He still struggles today, especially with Brian, who got into more trouble at home and at school after

his mother died.

But Rich, 45, finds comfort in the record of Carolynne that they created, partly through these photographs. One of his and Carolynne's biggest fears was that EJ, the youngest, wouldn't remember his mother. That fear motivated Carolynne to hang on and endure painful treatments for as long as she could. Now it's up to Rich to make sure her children grow up to be just as strong

as she was.

To see their story in a six-chapter multimedia presentation, go to the Multimedia section

Carolynne sits in bed with EJ before reading him to sleep. Every night that Carolynne is around to read to EJ "counts for everything," Rich said.
   
Rich takes a photo of Carolynne after they both had their heads shaved. Carolynne's friend, Ellie Duhaime (right) who was there for support, checks the makeup she had just applied to Carolynne.
  
Carolynne waves while watching EJ play at the beach on New Castle Island. Family trips inspired Carolynne to continue with her treatments in hopes of being around for another summer.
     
  
Rich comforts Carolynne before a CT scan at Concord Hospital. "Carolynne's been beating the odds. They all are genuinely surprised that Carolynne's still alive," he said.
   
Rich takes a moment to rest beside Carolynne at Concord Hospital. She was admitted in early January because of an infection in her salivary gland.
  
Brian stands outside the bathroom while his mother cleans up after a bout of nausea. "I just see so much wear and tear on the family unit," said Carolynne's sister Sara Matters.
     
  
Carolynne watches EJ play in the window while Rich is gone on a business trip. Carolynne says she worries about taking EJ outside alone because she no longer has the energy to keep up with him.
   
At Waters Funeral Home, Richard Jacques shows Rich the selection of caskets. Rich started to make funeral arrangements shortly before Christmas when doctors predicted Carolynne might not make it to the end of the year.
  
Carolynne St. Pierre pauses to compose herself while recording a video for her children. Her sister Sara Matters and cousin Anna Stoessinger comfort her. Doctors had just told Carolynne she would only survive for a number of weeks or months.
     
  
Rich cleans up after EJ had an accident in his pants. Though EJ had been potty trained for months, he regressed when Carolynne had to spend a few days in the hospital.
   
During a birthday party for a family friend two weeks before Carolynne died, her mother, Kathryn Seigle, comforts her. Carolynne said she felt depressed and just wanted to get better.
  
During a hospital visit, EJ touches Carolynne's swollen feet where Melissa had painted her toenails. Fluid build-up in her legs was one factor that forced Carolynne to stop chemotherapy. After a week in the hospital, she was sent home under hospice care.
     
  
On the final day of her life, Carolynne is surrounded by family in her bedroom. Down the hall, Melissa gets ready for her state championship gymnastics meet. As Carolynne got sicker, Melissa spent more time away from home. She and her two younger brothers found their own ways to deal with their mother's impending death.  Melissa said later she didn't believe her mother would die that day. Fearing that Carolynne was close to death,  Rich debated but decided to let Melissa continue with her plans.
   
Rich kisses Carolynne the moment she passes away. Her family comforted her and held her during her final moments, as she had hoped for.
  
Rich grieves as people from the funeral home take Carolynne's body away.
     
  
Carolynne's family places roses on her casket after the funeral. Friends and family dressed in pink, her favorite color.
  
Exhausted from work and taking care of the kids, Rich says he just looks forward to going to bed at night.
   
At EJ's request, Rich brings the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets into the bathroom where EJ can see them.
     
  
Rich punishes Brian after they got into an argument while visiting Carolynne's grave site. As Brian gets into more and more trouble, Rich says he knows he cannot take care of all three kids.
  
Brian waits for his turn while Rich takes EJ's photo during their visit to Carolynne's grave on Mother's Day.
   
Rich and EJ plant trees in the backyard to memorialize Carolynne.
     
  
Rich and Melissa watch EJ play at Story Land in Glen, NH. Carolynne had requested that Rich take EJ to Story Land every summer until he outgrew it. Brian and Melissa grew up taking yearly trips to the amusement park.
   
On the first day of school, the family walks EJ to Beaver Meadow Elementary School. One of Carolynne's goals was to live long enough to see EJ start kindergarten. Because she wasn't there, family members came to support him. With EJ from left to right is Carolynne's mother Kathryn Seigle, Melissa, Carolynne's sister Laura and her daughter Sofia, family friend Charity Ross, Rich, and Rich's brother Joe St. Pierre.
   
Rich visits Brian at the end of his therapeutic wilderness program in North Carolina. As problems with Brian escalated at home, Rich decided to send him away for the summer. "There was a lot more peace in his eyes," Rich said about seeing Brian at the end of the summer. During Brian's graduation ceremony, he prepares to trust fall while Rich and field instructor Steve Austin ready to catch him.
     
  
Sitting on a swing outside his new boarding school in South Carolina, Brian cries while saying goodbye to Rich. Brian told Rich he didn't want him to leave. Rich tried to assure him that a year in therapeutic boarding school would make him stronger and help him deal with his grief.